Marriage...or Not?

A wise man once said, "Mahwiage. Mahwaige is what bwings us togever. Today." Marriage is a hot topic in the U.S. right now. Do you ever wonder why? Marriage itself hasn't changed too much from the beginning of time. Or has it?

Have you noticed any of the trends that are appearing? Let's talk about some of the major ones. We have the age at which people are getting married. In the world, women are generally getting married at around age 26, while men are a couple of years older, around 28. If you recall, in the earlier centuries, early marriage used to be a sign of status. If you were a woman, you would want to marry as early as possible in order to have someone to provide for you and give you a place to live. In the LDS community, the ages are a couple of years earlier, but not much. LDS women tend to marry around age 23, while men tend to marry around age 25. Even the LDS society is following the same trends as the world.

Getting married later is not the only trend appearing in our country. For some, the decision to marry is not even an option in their minds. Why tie yourself down to one individual when you can remain free and with as many people as you want your entire life? There are many different reasons people are no longer choosing to marry in this life.

For one, women are now financially independent: they have the education and the means to provide for themselves. This no longer gives them a reason to have a steady man in their lives. People have discovered cohabitation, the act of living together without any marital bonds. More and more people are cohabiting instead of marrying. Fear is a big stumbling block for many people when it comes to marrying. Men can be afraid that they won't have the means to provide for a family. Women are afraid that they will no longer have any freedom. People are afraid of families, and the effort and exhaustion it takes to raise children. It is no longer convenient to marry. It is actually more convenient to remain unmarried. And then there is the social factor. Back in the day, it used to be socially positive to marry young, or to marry at all. Now, many people have decided marriage is no longer socially acceptable. 

Marriage is hard. But it leads to amazing things. It gives you one person that will always be there for you, a permanent love relationship. It allows for children to be brought into the world. It creates families, which as we know is what populates the world. I, for one, am ecstatic to marry one day. I am excited to start a family of my own, and to have someone that will always love me. 

I've heard the saying, "My husband has never done anything to make me wish for a divorce. Murder, yes, but never a divorce." Marriage is a challenge.

Challenge accepted.

kthanksbye

True Love at its Truest

Love. There are so many different definitions of love. . .it's hard, sometimes, to know exactly which one is right. Which one is right? The world defines love in a completely different way than it once was defined as. The world believes that love comes with physical attraction and lust. The world believes that "making love" is the foundation for love. I have some news for everyone: INFATUATION is not LOVE. 

I can see your faces now. What does that mean? What is infatuation? Aren't they the same thing? How do you know? How about I break it down for you. "Love" is confusing in the English language, mostly because we only have one word for it, while other languages have several words for the different types of love. This is why we are going to borrow from the Greek language for a second. Greek has four different words for love, and I believe that the four words in Greek are what it really means to "love" someone in English. True love cannot come without each of these other types of love.

The first is what, in English, we call "infatuation." The Greek word is Eros. Eros is passionate love. It comes with sexual desire and longing, and has to do with physical attraction. Eros is the kind of love that the world in which we live knows best. Don't get me wrong--eros is important. But a relationship needs to be based on more than just eros. I believe that in order to work best, a relationship needs each one of the four Greek words for love. Relationships need eros, but cannot survive on eros alone. 

The next Greek word for love is Agape. Agape is one of the hardest loves to achieve, and some people might suggest that it is the most pointless of the four. Agape is described by Christians as the unconditional love of God. It has to do with loving someone even if they don't deserve it. It is a deeper love than eros, and is truly a Christ-like love. It is the love we have for someone even when we don't like them at a particular moment. This love is also essential for a healthy relationship.

The next of the four Greek words for love is Philia. This love is only gained through getting to know the person; it takes time. Philia is friendship and affectionate regard we have for someone. It is the love that we have for our friends and colleagues. The world is far from perfecting this kind of love in that the people do not even recognize it as a type of love. To the world, philia is non-existent. However, what kind of a relationship is one without friendship? In the case of many people, they marry their best friend. And that is how it should be. Being friends with and being able to talk to the person you are in love with is highly important for a relationship to work.

The final Greek word is Storge. Storge is the kind of love that parents feel for their children. It is a natural affection that every human being is born with. It is the kind of love that makes it possible for a parent to do anything for their child, to love them enough that they would sacrifice their life so that their child could live. This is one of the purest loves, and is incredibly important in a working relationship. 

You may be inclined to go against the things that I have said here. You may instinctively want to go against the fact that each one of these different loves is needed for a relationship to work. Do you know why this is your first instinct? Because it's hard work. But it makes sense. In order for it to be true love you need to be friends; you need to be able to sacrifice for one another; you need to be attracted to each other physically; and you need to be able to love them no matter how many times they or you mess up. It's an amazing plan. And it works too. If only the world knew this, then maybe it would understand that looking amazing is not all that matters. True love matters.

kthanksbye

Puzzle Pieces

Puzzle pieces are made to fit together. In my family, we LOVE puzzles. Every Christmas we receive a new one and start on it, usually 1000 pieces (I'm actually not a huge puzzle person. . .but enough about me). Sometimes it can be hard to find the right pieces that fit together, but they always will. There is never an extra piece. The interesting thing about puzzles is that it is only the pieces of that puzzle that fit together. If you were to take a Lego piece and try to fit it together with a piece of the puzzle, SURPRISE--they wouldn't fit together. This is how the makers of the puzzle meant it to be.

The people on this earth often try to take matters into their own hands. God makes everything a certain way--so that it all fits just right--and humans often don't take that into consideration. Let's take the process of marriage as an example.

Marriage is defined by God as being between a man and a woman. Each gender has very specific roles that God gave them. This is the puzzle that God created, with each piece fitting precisely and perfectly with the next. I mean, let's face it: men and women complete each other. As hard as we try to deny it--oh we don't need them. . .we're independent. . .I can do it by myself--the qualities and traits of each gender precisely and perfectly match up with those of the opposite gender. 

Then you have this world. "I am my own person!" one might say. "I don't need God's plan! Mine is better!" (Which it's not, by the way.) We have these people who decide that they have feelings for a Lego piece, and even though they will never fit together as completely as they were meant to with their respective pieces, "It feels good." It feels good? Is this what our world has come to? It feels good. It looks good. It tastes good. It sounds good. It's all about the physical senses, now, and it's disturbing. What happened to listening to the Spirit? What happened to following the perfect plan that God created for us? 

I understand that nobody is perfect. I understand the there are those in this world who have trials--trials that you or I could never even imagine--and God will help them. But that depends on how devoted these people are to having and maintaining a relationship with Heavenly Father. I understand that these trials exist, but don't ever forget that there is still that other piece, waiting. Waiting for you. There is someone out there that completes you precisely and perfectly. You just need to go looking for them.

kthanksbye