True Love at its Truest

Love. There are so many different definitions of love. . .it's hard, sometimes, to know exactly which one is right. Which one is right? The world defines love in a completely different way than it once was defined as. The world believes that love comes with physical attraction and lust. The world believes that "making love" is the foundation for love. I have some news for everyone: INFATUATION is not LOVE. 

I can see your faces now. What does that mean? What is infatuation? Aren't they the same thing? How do you know? How about I break it down for you. "Love" is confusing in the English language, mostly because we only have one word for it, while other languages have several words for the different types of love. This is why we are going to borrow from the Greek language for a second. Greek has four different words for love, and I believe that the four words in Greek are what it really means to "love" someone in English. True love cannot come without each of these other types of love.

The first is what, in English, we call "infatuation." The Greek word is Eros. Eros is passionate love. It comes with sexual desire and longing, and has to do with physical attraction. Eros is the kind of love that the world in which we live knows best. Don't get me wrong--eros is important. But a relationship needs to be based on more than just eros. I believe that in order to work best, a relationship needs each one of the four Greek words for love. Relationships need eros, but cannot survive on eros alone. 

The next Greek word for love is Agape. Agape is one of the hardest loves to achieve, and some people might suggest that it is the most pointless of the four. Agape is described by Christians as the unconditional love of God. It has to do with loving someone even if they don't deserve it. It is a deeper love than eros, and is truly a Christ-like love. It is the love we have for someone even when we don't like them at a particular moment. This love is also essential for a healthy relationship.

The next of the four Greek words for love is Philia. This love is only gained through getting to know the person; it takes time. Philia is friendship and affectionate regard we have for someone. It is the love that we have for our friends and colleagues. The world is far from perfecting this kind of love in that the people do not even recognize it as a type of love. To the world, philia is non-existent. However, what kind of a relationship is one without friendship? In the case of many people, they marry their best friend. And that is how it should be. Being friends with and being able to talk to the person you are in love with is highly important for a relationship to work.

The final Greek word is Storge. Storge is the kind of love that parents feel for their children. It is a natural affection that every human being is born with. It is the kind of love that makes it possible for a parent to do anything for their child, to love them enough that they would sacrifice their life so that their child could live. This is one of the purest loves, and is incredibly important in a working relationship. 

You may be inclined to go against the things that I have said here. You may instinctively want to go against the fact that each one of these different loves is needed for a relationship to work. Do you know why this is your first instinct? Because it's hard work. But it makes sense. In order for it to be true love you need to be friends; you need to be able to sacrifice for one another; you need to be attracted to each other physically; and you need to be able to love them no matter how many times they or you mess up. It's an amazing plan. And it works too. If only the world knew this, then maybe it would understand that looking amazing is not all that matters. True love matters.

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