Communicating Through Counsel

One of the problems that appears quite often in relationships is that of communication.  When we have a problem, we tend to close up and hide it, pretending as if nothing is wrong.  Unfortunately, miscommunication often destroys relationships and causes distrust, divorce, and dislike.  The best option always is to just be honest with each other. However, there are some solutions to miscommunication within relationships that we can discuss.  This time, I am only going to expand upon one, extremely effective--if used correctly--solution to communication problems.

We will be discussing what is called the "counsel method."

The first step in understanding the counsel method is understanding how communication actually works.  It is easiest to understand through a feedback loop. A feedback loop consists of four "shapes," each leading to the next. It starts out with out thoughts/feelings. We then "encode" these thoughts into something visibly or audibly portrayed, such as speech or body language. This physical "media" must then be "decoded" by the person receiving the media. It is decoded into specific thoughts/feelings in that person's mind, bringing us in a full circle. This is how communication with anyone or anything happens. 

Someone said somewhere that we must "Communicate so clearly that not only can we be understood, but that we cannot be misunderstood."

The counsel method provides a way for us to decode the messages we are receiving effectively as well as encode our own thoughts in order to send a message effectively. What is the counsel method?  The counsel method is when the person starting out with the specific thought talks or "counsels" with his/her respective family members in order to make an executive decision. Sometimes the counsel method is only between husband and wife; sometimes it contains all of the children as well. It all depends on the decision.

The trick with the counsel method is to remember that it is not each family member sharing their opinion on the matter. It is each family member counseling with God and then with each other what they think God would say is best for the family at that time. We are trying to find the best solution, not the solution that is most attractive. God has the best plan for each of our lives, so if we heed to what He would have us do, we will reap the most happiness. 

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